I threw some parties that spurred a love for event planning. I don't know when, but I will absolutely be starting my own business at some point - I found I have a huge passion for this, and will continue to host events any chance I get!
I opened up a little bit about my struggle with infertility. And while I didn't post much on this blog, I did end up starting a separate blog, and invited many regular readers from Mrs In Training over to that one. I met some wonderful, kind, supportive women, and I never would have survived without them.
I celebrated my two year wedding anniversary with Tyler. Hard to believe its only been two years...perhaps thats since we've been together for 11? 12? I can't even keep track anymore. I am so blessed to have this man in my life...he deserves a post all of his own.
I made some progress with updating the house. While I didn't get as much done as I'd like, I at least have a very clear vision now of what I want. Now to win the lottery so I can make it all happen at once...
I went on the trip of a lifetime, to Puerto Rico. Tyler and I went with our two best friends, and had the most incredible time. I cannot wait to go back in April for their wedding, and am SO glad that they invited us to share in this experience with them.
And most amazingly, most shockingly, most incredibly, Tyler and I became pregnant with our first child, and have made it all the way to our 17th week of pregnancy.
I wanted to come out sooner on here. I've been public for almost a month now, we told our family on Thanksgiving, and our extended family that weekend. But I've been struggling with sharing the news.
You see, it was SO hard for me to hear when others became pregnant. I think I usually played it off well, and I was always genuinely happy for the other person, but it was still painful. I'd never known anyone in real life to have issues getting pregnant - quite the opposite, seemed like everyone was having a "surprise" baby. And I really gained comfort from bloggers and friends that I met online that were going through the same thing I was - many for much, much longer.
After thorough, painful, and very expensive testing (thanks for not covering ANYTHING, insurance), we were told that we would not conceive naturally, and should pursue In Vitro Fertilization with ICSI immediately. In other words, we needed to come up with a shit ton of money for a VERY expensive, painful, emotionally draining, morally challenging procedure....that doesn't have great odds. And they wanted us to do it immediately.
Tyler and I talked at length about how far we'd be willing to go in our journey to get pregnant. Tyler was concerned about the cost and my health (emotional and physical). I was concerned about how to weigh my incredibly intense desire for a child with my moral opposition to artificial reproductive technology. Even though I thought we could work it out so they only extracted as many eggs as they could implant, despite the low risk of conceiving and high risk of multiples, I wasn't sure a doctor would be willing to be so flexible. And there is no "gray area" with IVF as far as the Catholic church was concerned. I'd loved the church family I'd become a part of, and was terrified of being shunned by the people I'd gotten to know. An overreaction, I know, but I worried about it anyway.
In the end, we decided we'd do it, but we'd save up to pay it in full, and after we paid off the rest of our debt, which are Tyler's student loans. We thought we could possibly be able to afford it by summer 2011. In the meantime, I agreed to try Clomid at the suggestion of the doctor, to see if we couldn't get me to ovulate. I tried my first dose this past September.
For the first time in over a year, I saw a definite spike in my body temperature while charting, and I saw my first ever positive ovulation prediction stick. Even though I knew my odds were terrible, I was so elated to see my body doing something normal for once, that I dragged Tyler to the bedroom.
14 days later, I peed on my 6th pregnancy test of the weekend, and almost passed out when I saw the word "Pregnant" on the digital screen.
I can't wait to share the story about how I told Tyler, or how we told our families, or talk about my experience being pregnant. I even already know the sex of the baby, and can't wait to share that, and his or her name. This child is truly a miracle from God.
But today, I really want to give a giant hug to everyone that is still waiting. All the couples that know the extreme sorrow when its, yet again, not your month. The couples that have lost a baby, or lost several babies. The couples that have been waiting years for the moment to become parents. I cry with you every month that you post, and I truly, truly pray for you. I wouldn't wish infertility or loss on my worst enemy, and I think it is the hardest thing any woman ever has to go through.
I know I shouldn't, but I feel guilty that I've gotten to a point many of you haven't. It makes me sad that we aren't all sharing in this together. And I'll always try to be sensitive to that on here, because I've been there, and I'm always thinking of you.
'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light' (Matthew 11:28-30)
Since no one likes to finish reading on a downer, I'll leave you with a picture of my two loves in my first (and so far only!) baby purchase - a Bugaboo stroller.
