When Guinevere Switched Daycares, Part 1.

It took me a few years to get pregnant, and during my pregnancy Tyler and I had many conversations about when and how I would return to work.  I always wanted desperately to be a stay at home mom, and we could afford to have me be one.  I begged and pleaded with him to support us so that I could get my SAHM  jam on.  But Tyler kept nudging me back towards work. I had this idea in my head that as a stay at home mom I would get tons of housework done during morning naps, and oodles of one-on-one bonding time with my child.  Afternoon naps would be when I would work out, and Tyler would come home to a clean house, a healthy homemade meal, and a sexy, skinny wife.  And a happy, genius baby.  Duh.

Vintage Guinevere, around when she started inhome daycare.

It took me maybe 3 weeks of maternity leave to realize that shit wasn't gonna happen.  Ever.  My company only paid 66% of 5 weeks off, and I was able to save up to take a total of 11 weeks off of work. I seriously procrastinated finding childcare because I kept thinking I would be able to convince Tyler to let me be that sexy, glamorous housewife, and when Guinevere was 2 months old, I realized I should probably start researching.  I decided I loved the idea of an inhome daycare, and posted on my neighborhood message board asking for recommendations.  A neighbor that lives across the street immediately replied, we met up, and fell in love.  Guinevere started with her at 12 weeks old.

Going back to work that week was unbelievably emotional for me.  I missed Guinevere the first day, but after that?  I realized I LOVED being back at work.  And I LOVED knowing that Guinevere was in good hands.  So the emotions?  Were feeling like a terrible mother for being thankful I could return to work.  That mommy guilt was awful.  Wasn't I supposed to be miserable without her?  In agony over another woman  holding her all day?  Shouldn't I be hating and resenting my job?  It wasn't supposed to be easy.

I quickly realized on long weekends and vacations how tough 24/7 motherhood was, and became incredibly grateful that I was able to go back to work.  I love my job.  I loved my daycare provided.  And I LOVED my time with Guinevere that much more.  Our life was good.

Vintage Guinevere, two weeks after starting daycare.

It was a dream situation.  Miss J had two children, a 2 year old and a 5 year old, and the 5 year old was in school, so it was just Guinevere and her little one.  I loved that Guinevere was getting such undivided attention, and she adored going over there.  As Guinevere got older, she had a lot of "firsts" there, and I was surprisingly secure with them.  Miss J also became a mentor of sorts to me.  Having had two children, she was able to offer advice and encouragement without ever coming across like she knew my child better than me.  And when my breast milk supply tanked and I fought for two weeks with Guinevere to try formula, Miss J was the one that finally was able to suggest a trick to get her to switch.  She did the old "ask forgiveness instead of permission" and bless her for doing so, because I absolutely would have said no, but damn if it didn't work like a dream.  (That trick was Strawberry Nesquick, and yes, I absolutely died when she told me what she did, but it took us less than 10 days to wean Guinevere off a teensy amount of strawberry formula onto regular formula, and I don't regret it one bit.  Girlfriend had to eat.)

Vintage Guinevere, one month after starting daycare.

But when I decided to go back to school, I knew my hours were about to be nuts.  And Miss J had her own family, that I couldn't just dump on them for extra hours every day.  And as Guinevere was talking, and walking, and becoming a little toddler that ADORED other kids her age...I knew it was time for school.  And Tyler and I started talking about a daycare center, until one day we found out there was one opening down the street from us...and we decided to go in for a tour.

To be continued.  (Not because I think this story is even remotely exciting enough for a cliff hanger, but because its after midnight, and this mama is tired, and this blog post is already super ass long.  Night!)